Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

I had run out of hope.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

I vibrated my dogs shock collar while it was eating my other dog’s food and now it won’t eat. How do I fix this problem?

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

Measles case confirmed in Allegan County, officials provide locations of exposure - WWMT

And the sadness?

The sadness was still there.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Why do I have the impression that almost all questions about advertising the flat Earth theory come from people who don't believe in a flat Earth themselves and are just provoking?

I was tired of trying and failing.

It’s still here.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

Water Discovered Around a Young, Sun-Like Star For First Time - ScienceAlert

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

Billy Joel Attempted Suicide Twice and Fell into a Coma After Affair with Friend's Wife. Why He Wanted to 'End It All' - Yahoo

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Is it wrong that I picked to be a Christian (as a teenager/14-year-old) even with knowing all of the information about other religions/atheism?

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Be who you already are.

Two space vets added to Astronaut Hall of Fame as one awaits launch - collectSPACE.com

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Beware: There’s a new Trump-RFK Jr. epidemic brewing - NJ.com

It’s here now, writing to you.

I was tired of fighting.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

If a person stops thinking one or two words in a second or half second means he had stopped thinking for half second?

You are like me, then.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.